"Losing control is the worst thing that can happen."
"I never saw a host of angels mowing down my lawn. I don't even have a lawn.
It just seems like I do sometimes."
-Laurie Anderson
"Live Art"
an angel will destroy you.
and call it love because that's all it knows.
an angel fits into a glove
an angel fits into a shoe
the voice inside me sd: i am older than love
what you seek at the end of the great tap root, always hungry, love concepts
sieves the heart, who wrote its coding, & i am.
assigned a task. a mapping, could fold wings down
travel so deep. you will keep:
what is older than love, i was designed to get close enough to call back
inside sound.
aware & unaware of the plurality.
i was not pretending
madness. i was not performing
(of course, i was performing) i went intothecracks
in thru the breaking, you have to mine: light meets light in the darkness
to say i was a poem, & so fly
dissociated inside the puzzle, you can solve a maze from above
watch me
because she could not rewrite
the entire story, i wanted to throw
it all away
i was so ashamed of my mind
i was so in love (terrible&brilliant) i... i was trying
to not be infection: (you can't talk to the echthroi that long, tell her)
they say angels are notorious liars.
it's when i can't feel the words i am saying: language plummets
it all hits the same
inside the dreaming of can we survive
& i did not: i watched her die
i saw them bury her
i stretched out that last breath into 6 years so thin i could see: make me believe
be a door. transit a sacrifice you can't touch here.
do you exist when i close my eyes. i call out in the dreaming & i'll come, he says.
the point is: you made something beautiful. hold on.
you made something beautiful - tell me how you could lose a miracle
the best thing i ever did in my life was i built a net
i knew i wasn't safe alone. so i built a net of people
who could choose to hold this.
there is nothing easy about holding a person
don't kid yourself: there is nothing easy about holding a person
if a person is easy to hold, then question why your hands are so light.
for we get away with secrets, for we lie & lie
but none of us get out just being "easy"
i would never trade madness for easy, i would never trade
being touched for happy,
in the sound experiment of being human: I watched you all
make yourself small for love.
i do it too. we think maybe no one will notice, i don' t belong here.
where love would have bloomed, i addict control. and the flow
was sound, i was that wilderness, what draws and repels
the cannot tame. somehow i created the perfect life:
no one can touch me, the bargain i made to stay safe.
an angel will destroy you.
and call it love because it’s all there is.
