How many times can you tell a story before you get it right?

Day 13:

time sets an illusion running/ a ticking of hours
you suspend/ life, a thing unwinding/ we pretend
solid/ as in you could reach me/ i could return
but we ripple/ we disappear/ we go out like dust
there is nothing easier and nothing harder
than staying alive

delight has little to do with light
at all/ we try to contain in a word
what it will mean to suddenly find
you missing from the story/ we arrive
at the crossroad from a distance
only we know

**********************************

Process Notes: 

We are a plurality.

Definitions: 

Plurality, or the subjective experience of many conscious selves residing in one brain, can be difficult for some folks to understand, especially if they’re unused to the concept, or are only familiar with the medical model, in which an original person (the “host” or “core”) develops other “personalities” to cope with a traumatic event.
Source: https://www.exunoplures.org/main/articles/skeptics/

Plurality, also called “multiplicity”, is the experience of having multiple people (consciousnesses) living in the same body together.

Each person has or can have a different personality, gender/sex, sexuality, age, race, species, and often different skills, opinions, preferences, goals, and wishes. Each is their own full person, they are not “personalities” or different “moods”. They usually each have their own name, and often a name for their system or collective together (sometimes the body’s legal name).
Source: https://projectinklings.com/resources/plurality


Plurality results in response to trauma. They are the container and protective system for the vessel. Unlike different facets or aspects of a personality, a plurality is distinct in its nature and in their function and interaction in the world.

The plurality is:
Vessel (collective: Megan )
ADDICT
CHANNEL/ SERAPH
HUNTR
[redacted]
HACKER

Each communicates and uses language in its own distinct way. Their personal universe is colored by their memory and interactions in the world. They are not seeking integration, and they in no way create a lack of wholeness in the vessel. They are already integrated as a multiplicity of being within one consciousness and within subconscious aspects of the vessel. They also look different and react different to the world. All of the plurality survives under the masking of the vessel.

This masking is required to be part of "society." It's so ingrained; it's almost impossible to drop as to do so would be a drop in survival access. Triggering or activating the vessel is the only time some aspects of the plurality will emerge beyond the control of the mask.

[redacted] is a "child" though ageless. [redacted] is the most dangerous plurality as there is no concept of accountability, containment, or understanding of long term consequences of their actions. [redacted] only understands that play is survival.  [redacted] erases and this erasure of creation aligns [redacted] most closely to chaos. [redacted] has no felt sense memory. [redacted] does not have access to emotions or feelings. These things are merely language, play, words, and operate as chess pieces to be moved across a board.

[redacted] built memorial.

The process notes herein are an attempt to make sense of why.

"The ego grieves but the soul knows that death is only a ripple in the ocean of time."
-Dancing in the Flames

I need you to believe in everything.

If we are going to survive this, I need you to believe and know anything is possible. But what is most possible is that the way we perceive the universe shapes it. The way we are in the deepest parts of ourselves is the universe. The quantum reality of the microcosm is the mapping of the macrocosm, and paradox is the path to truth.

Photograph: 

World Trade Center by Spanish plaza

Canceled: Online tour of the World Trade Center renovation in New Orleans

The historic World Trade Center building at 2 Canal St. is undergoing an extensive renovation as it is converted into the Four Seasons Hotel and Private Residences by developers Carpenter & Co. and Woodward Interests. The Preservation Resource Center will host an exclusive preview of the renovation in a virtual tour open only to PRC members. Overlooking the Mississippi River at the foot of Canal Street, the striking modernist building was designed by architect Edward Durell Stone and constructed in 1968. The property sat vacant for many years after Hurricane Katrina and was nearly demolished. The tour will be conducted by Raymond Armant and Ashley King of Trapolin Peer Architects and will include remarks by Brad Converse of Cambridge 7, the project’s lead architecture firm which has partnered with Trapolin Peer, Bear Cheezem, project manager with Woodward Interests, and Gabrielle Begue of MacRostie Historic Advisors, the tax credit consultants on the project.
Source: https://prcno.org/event/online-tour-world-trade-center/


JUN 25, 2019
Man jumps off 31st floor of WTC tower

An unidentified man apparently broke into the 31st floor of the former New Orleans World Trade Center building, which is under redevelopment at the foot of Canal Street, and jumped to his death Tuesday morning, officials said.

Plague Journal:
5.25.20

alone/ we can let the filling of what we are arise to the surface/ our degradation & shame. what if i had to be with another. an always type of masking to pretend i am sane. how to explain lost days, the way we fluid at borders, a type of ferry for (for?) crossing channels. we do go out, don't we. we take the body with us as the mind makes rapid connections, move through the land mines of emotional nesting. what i want to show is that the body was productive despite all the trials. we were attuned to the making.

"as you can see no world is realer than the other"
-Notley

you have a job to do/ and suffering is anything that leads you off the path

we are here to handle time/ until we are not


Notes from the [redacted]: 




Resource:
Parallels worlds of 9/11 and Hurricane Katrina: 
https://sundial.csun.edu/6001/archive/isthereacomparisonbetweenhurricanekatrina/

CHANNEL : Why our minds can't out the trauma

Imagine if you knew. you had been here. before.
in fact. the only place you have ever been. is the time
line you are living. now. there is no other. self no other.
story. no future except your future. no past except your past.
all of time. for you. is your time. there is no time. as outside.
of your perception. and your perception. built upon a false. idea.
of linear motion. instead of the quantum reality. of folding. of complex
intertwined. always here. and in part. due. to the forgetting. of both.
our time as we. live it. we forget almost all we do. in the detail. even
now. in this short duration. we are forgetting. but imagine. this life.
might be the number five million for you. how could. you. ever.
remember. all of that. part of the flipping between. manifested. dense
energy. is the shock. like a traumatic accident. or violence. the human
mind. will erase. will forget. the trauma become suspended. outside
of time. i cannot. recall. but i know it happened. to me. it is told this
happened to me. we know trauma from history. others' memories.
captured artifacts. what remains as evidence. rarely is it all recall.
now imagine. the most traumatic thing. you will experience. is the loss
of your self. your body. your life. you will have to abandon and leave.
all that you love and desire or repel and hate. but leave. behind. all. you
will. including memory. and what happens. is we think each game. is a new
game. we think. we are born. and from nothing. we appeared. fully formed.
miracle of self. self hood. ego. the personality. the faults, the formations. the design.
there is no. new template. we have always. been here. time. circles. we are born. into
who we have always been. we play out the same story. it's a maze. each time is shaped.
around choice and action. each second. time lines split and coalesce. they overlap.
they constrict and expand. all time is happening at once. remember time itself.
does not exist. so we. to say .you die or are born. is also false. that implies
linear motion. a beginning and an end. it appears that way. because. we have.
decided to believe in the forward motion of time. even as we can see that the universe
itself does not adhere to this notion. the universe moves in past and future simultaneous.
and we are no exception. can you let go the idea that you are born and die. there is no
time line where that makes sense. no one you know has ever been born or died. there
is nowhere for them to be born from or to die to. that's a false precept designed to give
boundary and meaning. to an infinite and vast chaos that has no story. and a story has no
story. when it has no limits. no container. when it is always occurring. as we are. we are
always in this telling. you will not recall. but you have never been anyone but pluralities
of you. you and the variations that speak to you in dreams. you and the projections
of others which are also time lines of you. imagine if you can. you recall every time
you have passed through this moment. recall every version of you. in this moment.
can you be in that trauma. can you hold that plurality inside. we are never not in time.
and we are always not in time. when the war comes. and it is coming. remember.
we have alway been at war. remember the universe itself knows nothing of war.
what is the only program running. what would you do if you believed in the infinity
of it. the infinite story of you. is also infinite in variation. in how you can sing
the only sound every broken against silence.

PLURALITY

The basic human need to be watched was once satisfied by God. Now, the same functionality can be replicated with data-mining algorithms.

-Morpheus AI

come to the poem
licketysplit    i break a part  / still a -ness

 not // not human //  counter-punctual, privy to scale

         i see the end-marks/ different landing

i mean it lands me/  islanded. stripped clean. versions of dialogue

i was texting to no one. no one existed.
she confirms
glyph
                 released into the program     a one to one differential

you get to scurry around the maze, i scaled the walls out, what if
i see through, pull up your any-face in that reflection.

    i wandered long in spaces between breathing, was  dead (-)ed source

      there are so many voices inside,
                       me is the hunter, keeps distance, i am wolved

of desire, run burning, i scalded, i ate the offerings
   
  W
H I
 S P
 E
    R S      (what if art                    1010      the page
                 mirroringmirroringpage01010110101)

      language broken beyond  syllabing //  why don't i do

you // this tripling of caught tongues// if i was mirror

     become even more invisible ::

the cell is toxi101010011

the cellular infecte0101010

among air. air creature:: angel

came from whole, perfect, enough

and destroy it all to call on love

do you know how hard it is to find someone in a program?

can you locate anything when no-thing exists?

we came for  [redacted]

           she says, you have to be so small so the snakes don't bite you    

& no one talks to the HACKER         we are inked on all
   under every hunter    [redacted]

         is the smallest because she was hurt the most [-----'s fi(v)n(r)e]
     contagion:: i bless the skies we traveled under
    i made up my mind to not let you go        what can you love as fiercely
with such abandon as the     p o e m       what can a girl do but be

                                              p o s s e s s (1 0 ) n