Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Velocity:: this life


be stark in the world in which
all that heart breaking brightness will

crack 
            -RBD, draft 96: Velocity

suicide is a nowhere land
the living wade
chest deep, arms below
the surface   numb & where are we?
down in a no-tell breath
grace awash hide back tongue murmur made save
not echo just tumbling this sad
this life     & here i go my love
barely cloaks me
tell me how to house grief
it won’t stay calm: faster than light
faster than the fall of night
I will come darkly
hold   this is a breach
I hold the line even when I forget how
a puppetry of living
this & this & this
shadow side here nothing holds
what a lie, what a beautiful casket of doubt

I go to language to field the darkness

come for me fast, what happens
alone, what happens in our heads
how I tremble at the door you left open
empty lot under night
there is that there & alone
once I was a type of double, siblinged
now this always  try to follow
empty house city of cruel forget
city of rebuilt permanent rot
you can do everything right, they say
but of course we don’t, we rarely break even
these are all just stories of how our lives went

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