Monday, January 20, 2020

LAST POEM

Because I want you to see me as I take myself apart. 
-R. Froude, Your Love Alone is Not Enough

LAST POEM 

for dave

here is the root of it

[_____pulled up
it took me over 5 years
to be able to shape the sound 
of it _____]

i gave you the best parts of me
we gave the world the best parts of us
we made together the best parts of us
we gave to one another the best parts

pulled 3x from my body
i gave you the best parts of me
portal of my body, between us we made sacred
outside any poem we wrote, we made beauty 

beyond telling, the heart of it
nothing existed before we poured 
into one another all we took for granted
& all of the light & what we thought of 

was love               was love

& you hated me
words collected like knives
we destroyed all of it 

you wanted me to die
that body that pooled life 
you wanted it to not exist
to douse, to eradicate, to allow 
to slip away, you hated each part 

as if it is possible 
to be both the best...
it is possible 
to be the best & the worst
collision of my life 
closed circle: i gave you the best parts of me 

that is what islands us (me) 
where no one can reach
& i could not open to feel ever 
again in the not safe 
cave of plenty, you rolled a rock in front
of the entrance 
&
the wilderness 
of things 

she sings inside the darkness
    i hear her even now 

                                   i whisper to her: escape, rescue, abandon


she mirrors back to me:   
                                    all of your wor(l)ds hold no meaning 





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