REND

The wolf song is the sound of the rending you will suffer,

in itself a murdering.    – A. Carter, The Company of Wolves

Rend

for dean

i.

dropped spit

a beast desires most

violence contained

slaps the edge of coat here

bristling, says: “what am i”

says: “good girl”

says: “hold down”

i bend where i can’t translate

my body betrays

collar this dream

i am led

ii.

travel unmapped darkness

a veil drops

to skin

think of how we’ll escape

hung on the hook

called time

we coat the hours

i will inside you anyway

sing & dig in

teeth bared

iii.

carnage

terrible terrain

the animal of us attacked

to pin me under

to wipe your hand

down the mask

of memory

we built in temporary frames

a den of hungers

not asleep, not awake

but suspended

iv.

have you known

such heat as i have known

bite down enough

tremble each limb till

it lets go its safety

its fiction of

i was strong

against         sometimes

being left

is a gift

v.

don’t ask me to love

outside the poem

its safety net of syllables

dangling, i would open beneath

let it fall

let it fall apart

i lose the ability to be afraid

in measured doses

torn muzzle to trade instead

a sacrifice of shattered

points, light braided

to break    bloodied maw

call forth