Velocity:: this life

be stark in the world in which

all that heart breaking brightness will

crack 

            -RBD, draft 96: Velocity

suicide is a nowhere land

the living wade

chest deep, arms below

the surface   numb & where are we?

down in a no-tell breath

grace awash hide back tongue murmur made save

not echo just tumbling this sad

this life     & here i go my love

barely cloaks me

tell me how to house grief

it won’t stay calm: faster than light

faster than the fall of night

I will come darkly

hold   this is a breach

I hold the line even when I forget how

a puppetry of living

this & this & this

shadow side here nothing holds

what a lie, what a beautiful casket of doubt

I go to language to field the darkness

come for me fast, what happens

alone, what happens in our heads

how I tremble at the door you left open

empty lot under night

there is that there & alone

once I was a type of double, siblinged

now this always  try to follow

empty house city of cruel forget

city of rebuilt permanent rot

you can do everything right, they say

but of course we don’t, we rarely break even

these are all just stories of how our lives went